Unbelievably, I’ve already passed the halfway mark of this pregnancy, and Monday saw our 20 week anomaly scan back at the hospital. When I was expecting Theo, my 20 week scan was such a happy and emotional occasion. It took me a while to really get my head around becoming a mother when he was on the way - even though he was very much planned and wanted, it all happened so quickly that I spent a lot of the first trimester in a state of shock at how much life was about to change.
It may sound strange, but on our first scan last time around, I was just so shocked to see a baby on the screen and to realise that, yes, this was actually happening. The second scan was much more joyful - I’d connected with it all by then, and was delighted to be able to see my baby on the screen in so much beautiful detail.
This time around, I’ve been nothing but happy from the start - but I was nervous, firstly to see that the baby was okay, but also to find out the gender. Whereas with Theo, I was adamant that I wanted to know, this time I was in two minds about whether to keep it a surprise or not.
When expectant mothers are asked ‘Would you like a girl or a boy?’ (and they always are), the only acceptable response seems to be to say ‘I don’t mind, as long as it’s healthy’. In one sense, this is absolutely correct. I can only guess at the heartbreak, despair and worry that accompanies finding out your baby has health issues.
Likewise, I can only guess at the utter misery and frustration experienced by those who have fertility issues and desperately wish for a child of any gender. But expressing a preference for one gender or the other is something that I do believe you absolutely have a right to. It’s funny, because if a mother has more than one child of the same gender, the assumption seems to be, rightly or wrongly, that they wanted one of the other.
So society has weird double standards - like a lot of things to do with motherhood and being a woman in general.
The first time I was pregnant, I believed I was having a girl. I could see Seb and I with a daughter. I began to imagine a certain future, based a lot on the bond I had with my niece. I keenly tried every old wives’ tale going to try and find out before my 20 week appointment. And when I discovered it was a boy, it knocked me for six. It took me a little while to come to terms with the future I had imagined and lost, and to build new dreams.
It wouldn’t be truthful not to admit that I struggled at first - I felt worried -“I don’t like bugs and mess and dinosaurs! I want a girl to take to ballet!”, embarrassed -“those gender stereotypes are ridiculous! A boy could be into ballet as well!”, - concerned “I understand the worries and fears of a girl - will I be able to support a boy in the same way emotionally?”- and deeply guilty “you should be grateful you’re having a healthy baby at all!”
The only way to deal with it in the end was to allow myself to have the feelings, to acknowledge them and then move on. And of course, having my little boy has been the most wonderful, joyful, incredible experience that immediately melted everything away apart from how utterly amazing he is. That has been the biggest discovery of all. I’m wildly in love with him and his curious, clever, funny, caring little personality. I hope that shines through whenever I write about him here. He could never have been a disappointment to me. And I went into this second pregnancy knowing the same would be true of this baby - but that still didn’t stop me hoping I might have a girl this time.
So approaching my scan this time, I’m happy to admit I was nervous. What if it was another boy? I knew in my heart I would love him fiercely, and I knew how amazing it would be for Theo to have a little brother. But if I never had a girl, would I feel that I had missed out on something? Would I try for another, and what if that was also a boy? Where would I stop?
Would I be able to make my peace with it, or would I regret that I’d never been able to experience life with a daughter?
To that end, I did try out ‘natural gender selection’ this time - a bunch of theories that supposedly help you to conceive a girl. They include eating or not eating certain things, and trying to time the conception for a certain part of your cycle. Do these things work? Opinion is divided, and there isn’t much in the way of studies to support it. Part of me thinks it's a cynical way to try and cash in on parent’s hopes and dreams. Part of me thinks there may be some truth in some parts of it, if not in all.
Either way, my thinking was that even if it slightly tipped the balance to over 50% one way or the other, I was prepared to try it. So I followed the advice to try and conceive a girl. Some of the more bizarre instructions were to skip eating breakfast, and to avoid coffee and bananas. It’s to do with altering your body chemistry to make it more or less acid or alkaline.
On the timing, the theory runs that male sperm are faster swimmers, but find it harder to survive in the woman’s body, where female sperm are slower, but hardier. So if you want to have a girl, you should only try and conceive on the two days closest to ovulation, to give the female sperm more of a chance to get at the egg. I was already using an app called Clue to track my cycles, so it was easy to work out the dates.
Obviously, it's quite a restrictive way to go about things. Seb was worried that it would narrow the chances of conceiving at all far too much - I believe the odds of getting pregnant at all in a given month are only 20%, and you’re reducing that further. Luckily, even with the restrictions it all happened immediately, just as it did with Theo.
There were a lot of thoughts and feelings that I went through, and I was extremely nervous, not knowing how I would feel on discovering the gender. It felt like a lot - so much that I wasn’t sure I wanted to find out at all. But Sebastian was of the opinion that we should find out, and in the end, I know I’m too curious of a person to resist the temptation. I’d tried to get my thoughts in order, and a few people had told me they could see me ‘with all boys’. So my emotions were all over the place during the health checks.
And then we found out...we’re expecting a girl this time.
I feel so happy, grateful, excited - I probably would have felt this way with a second boy, but at least now, there’s no shadow of doubt. If I do have more children, it will be entirely for their own sake and not because I want to have something I imagine is missing. And we are so joyful that Theo will get to welcome a little sister, and that she will have him to love and protect her and fight her corner in life.
I’m an only child, a fact that bothers me more as an adult than it ever did as a child. If I ever did think about a sibling though, I thought I would have liked an older brother. So it's lovely that my little girl will have that experience. A certain pressure has lifted, and now there’s just uncomplicated, pure happiness.
We are full of love and light and dearly looking forward to welcoming our new addition as a family.
Have you or anybody you know ever experienced similar feelings? Or do you find this subject impossible to understand? As always, I'd love to hear from you.
I can't tell you how excited I am for you guys!!! <3
ReplyDeleteAwesome article! I want people to know just how good this information is in your article. It’s interesting, compelling content. Your views are much like my own concerning this subject. blue light protection skin care
ReplyDeleteDr Zodiak cartridges
ReplyDeleteWhere can I buy moonrock cart
buy moonrock carts online
Moonrock cart Price
Zodiak Moonrock Cart
Moonrock Clear cart
moonrock Clear cart ca
Moonrock Clear Battery
Zodiak Moonrock Clear battery
Moonrock Battery Price
Where can I buy Dr. Zodiak moonrock Battery
Buy Moonrock Battery – Moonrock Battery for Sale.
Dr Zodiak Moonrock clear battery
Moonrock Batteries ca
Dr Zodiak Moonrock Clear Batteries
Moonrock Battery Price
Moonrock Clear Batteries
Dr Zodiak bobby blue cart
Where can I buy Bobby blue cart
Bobby blue cart Price
Moonrock cart Price
Zodiak Moonrock Cart
Bobby blue Clear cart
Bobby blue Clear cart ca
Dr Zodiak moonrockclear
moonroclcear
moonrockclear Price
Moonrock cart Price
Zodiak Moonrock Cart
moonrock Clear cart
moonrock Clear cart ca
Dr Zodiak cartridges
ReplyDeleteWhere can I buy moonrock cart
buy moonrock carts online
Moonrock cart Price
Zodiak Moonrock Cart
Moonrock Clear cart
moonrock Clear cart ca
Moonrock Clear Battery
Zodiak Moonrock Clear battery
Moonrock Battery Price
Where can I buy Dr. Zodiak moonrock Battery
Buy Moonrock Battery – Moonrock Battery for Sale.
Dr Zodiak Moonrock clear battery
Moonrock Batteries ca
Dr Zodiak Moonrock Clear Batteries
Moonrock Battery Price
Moonrock Clear Batteries
Dr Zodiak bobby blue cart
Where can I buy Bobby blue cart
Bobby blue cart Price
Moonrock cart Price
Zodiak Moonrock Cart
Bobby blue Clear cart
Bobby blue Clear cart ca
Dr Zodiak moonrockclear
moonroclcear
moonrockclear Price
Moonrock cart Price
Zodiak Moonrock Cart
moonrock Clear cart
moonrock Clear cart ca
How much is Moonrock worth
ReplyDeleteBuy Dr Zodiak Moonrock
Buy Moonrock clear online
Buy cheap Moonrock online
Buy exotic carts online
Buy dank vapes online
Silverback Clear
Razzle Dazzle Clear
Dr Zodiak Carts flavors
Buy Brownies Online
Buy Cereal Bars Online
Lynwood Lemonade Clear
Buy Dr Zodiak Moonrock Clear Cartridges
How Does The Product Look?
Dr Zodiak Moonrock Clear carts Hits?
Lion Heart Clear
Snowcone Clear
How much is Moonrock cartridge
Buy moonrock prerolls
Buy moonrock uk
Buy Moonrock Clear online
Buy moonrock carts online
Buy moonrock carts
How much is Moonrock worth
dr zodiak moonrocks canada
Dr Zodiaks Monrock syrup for sale
Buy Moonrock Clear online
Buy moonrock carts online
Buy moonrock carts
How much is Moonrock worth
How much is Moonrock worth
ReplyDeleteBuy Dr Zodiak Moonrock
Buy Moonrock clear online
Buy cheap Moonrock online
Buy exotic carts online
Buy dank vapes online
Silverback Clear
Razzle Dazzle Clear
Dr Zodiak Carts flavors
Buy Brownies Online
Buy Cereal Bars Online
Lynwood Lemonade Clear
Buy Dr Zodiak Moonrock Clear Cartridges
How Does The Product Look?
Dr Zodiak Moonrock Clear carts Hits?
Lion Heart Clear
Snowcone Clear
How much is Moonrock cartridge
Buy moonrock prerolls
Buy moonrock uk
Buy Moonrock Clear online
Buy moonrock carts online
Buy moonrock carts
How much is Moonrock worth
dr zodiak moonrocks canada
Dr Zodiaks Monrock syrup for sale
Buy Moonrock Clear online
Buy moonrock carts online
Buy moonrock carts
How much is Moonrock worth
moonwalk syrups
ReplyDeleteDr Zodiaks Moonrock Syrup
Buy Moonrock Clear online
Buy moonrock syrup online
Moonrock syrup
moonrock cartridges
Dr Zodiak Moonrock clear battery
Moonrock Batteries
Dr Zodiak Moonrock clear battery
Moonrock Battery for Sale
Buy Moonrock Battery
Where can I buy Dr. Zodiak moonrock cartridge
Dr Zodiak Moonrock Clear Batteries
Moonrock Batteries
Moonrock Clear Batteries
Zodiak Moonrock Clear battery
MoonrockClear Battery
Where can I buy Dr. Zodiak moonrock Battery
History of moonrock rolling tray
Buy rolling trays online
rolling tray
Dr Zodiak moonrock rolling trays
Moonrock cartridges
buy moonrock carts
History of moonrock rolling tray
moonrock carts for sale
rolling tray
Moonrockclear for sale
Moonrockclear carts
Moonrock Weed
moonwalk syrups
ReplyDeleteDr Zodiaks Moonrock Syrup
Buy Moonrock Clear online
Buy moonrock syrup online
Moonrock syrup
moonrock cartridges
Dr Zodiak Moonrock clear battery
Moonrock Batteries
Dr Zodiak Moonrock clear battery
Moonrock Battery for Sale
Buy Moonrock Battery
Where can I buy Dr. Zodiak moonrock cartridge
Dr Zodiak Moonrock Clear Batteries
Moonrock Batteries
Moonrock Clear Batteries
Zodiak Moonrock Clear battery
MoonrockClear Battery
Where can I buy Dr. Zodiak moonrock Battery
History of moonrock rolling tray
Buy rolling trays online
rolling tray
Dr Zodiak moonrock rolling trays
Moonrock cartridges
buy moonrock carts
History of moonrock rolling tray
moonrock carts for sale
rolling tray
Moonrockclear for sale
Moonrockclear carts
Moonrock Weed
History of moonrock rolling tray
ReplyDeletemoonrock carts for sale
rolling tray
Moonrockclear for sale
Moonrockclear carts
Moonrock Weed
What Are Marijuana Moon Rocks?
Where to buy moonrock ice
Moonrock ice price
How much do moonrock ice cost LA
Dr zodiak moonrock ice
How much is Dr zodiak moonrock ice
moonrock cartridge
Order Moonrock ice online
Buy moonrock ice
Moonrock ice price
How much do moonrock ice cost LA
Dr zodiak moonrock ice
Zodiak’s Moonrock Ice
where can I buy moonrockice online
Buy Moonrock Prerolls Online
Dr Zodiak Infused moonrock Prerolls
Infused Prerolls
What are Moonrocks?
Buy prerolls online
What Are Moonrock Prerolls?
Dr Zodiak official Website
Buy Packwoods online
Prerolls online
Buy Moon Rock Pre-rolled Joints
Prerolls Ca
Infused Prerolls la
How much is moonrock preroll
Where to buy moonrock infused prerolls
History of moonrock rolling tray
ReplyDeletemoonrock carts for sale
rolling tray
Moonrockclear for sale
Moonrockclear carts
Moonrock Weed
What Are Marijuana Moon Rocks?
Where to buy moonrock ice
Moonrock ice price
How much do moonrock ice cost LA
Dr zodiak moonrock ice
How much is Dr zodiak moonrock ice
moonrock cartridge
Order Moonrock ice online
Buy moonrock ice
Moonrock ice price
How much do moonrock ice cost LA
Dr zodiak moonrock ice
Zodiak’s Moonrock Ice
where can I buy moonrockice online
Buy Moonrock Prerolls Online
Dr Zodiak Infused moonrock Prerolls
Infused Prerolls
What are Moonrocks?
Buy prerolls online
What Are Moonrock Prerolls?
Dr Zodiak official Website
Buy Packwoods online
Prerolls online
Buy Moon Rock Pre-rolled Joints
Prerolls Ca
Infused Prerolls la
How much is moonrock preroll
Where to buy moonrock infused prerolls
Buy Packwoods online
ReplyDeleteHow To Make Moon Rocks Weed
Dr zodiak infused Prerolls Price
How to make moonrock
Infused Prerolls la
How much is moonrock preroll
Where to buy moonrock prerolls
Buy Moonrock Prerolls Online
Where to buy Dr zodiak moonrock prerolls
Buy prerolls Online
How to make moonrock
Prerolls la
How much is moonrock preroll
Where to buy moonrock prerolls
Buy Moon Rock Pre-rolled Joints
preroll ca
preroll la
How make moonrock
Dr zodiak moonrock preroll Price
Buy Packwoods Blackjack (Hybrid) Online
Buy Packwoods Blackjack Online
Packwoods Price
packwoods BLACKJACK
Packwoods
By packwoods online
are packwoods good
Where can i buy Packwoods
packwoods for sale
packwoods dank vapes
packwoods blunts
fake packwoods-how much do pckwoods cost
how much do packwoods cost
Buy Packwoods online
ReplyDeleteHow To Make Moon Rocks Weed
Dr zodiak infused Prerolls Price
How to make moonrock
Infused Prerolls la
How much is moonrock preroll
Where to buy moonrock prerolls
Buy Moonrock Prerolls Online
Where to buy Dr zodiak moonrock prerolls
Buy prerolls Online
How to make moonrock
Prerolls la
How much is moonrock preroll
Where to buy moonrock prerolls
Buy Moon Rock Pre-rolled Joints
preroll ca
preroll la
How make moonrock
Dr zodiak moonrock preroll Price
Buy Packwoods Blackjack (Hybrid) Online
Buy Packwoods Blackjack Online
Packwoods Price
packwoods BLACKJACK
Packwoods
By packwoods online
are packwoods good
Where can i buy Packwoods
packwoods for sale
packwoods dank vapes
packwoods blunts
fake packwoods-how much do pckwoods cost
how much do packwoods cost
Buy Packwoods Blue Zkittlez Online
ReplyDeleteBuy Blue Zkittlez online
Packwoods for sale
Buy Packwoods Blue Zkittlez Online
Packwoods
By packwoods online
Packwoods uk
Buy Packwoods Blue Zkittlez Online
packwoods for sale
BUY PACKWOODS DTLA OG ONLINE
Packwoods Price
Packwoods DTLA OG
BUY PACKWOODS DTLA OG ONLINE
Packwoods carts
Packwoods weed
Where can j buy weed
Video review packwoods
Packwoods creators
Buy Packwoods El Chapo (Hybrid) Online
BUY PACKWOODS EL CHAPO ONLINE
Packwoods Price
Buy Packwoods El Chapo Online usa
Packwoods la
ABOUT EL CHAPO
Buy Packwoods El Chapo Online
Where can i buy Packwoods
Buy Packwoods El Chapo Online Canada
Buy Packwoods Rose OG Online
ReplyDeleteBUY PACKWOODS ROSE OG ONLINE
Packwoods Price
ABOUT ROSE OG
Packwoods
Buy Rose OG canada
buy Rose OG uk
packwoods official
Buy Packwoods RYO Kit Online
Buy RYO Kit Online
How to get packwoods RYO Kit
About OG Kush RYO Kit
Buy packwoods RYO kit online
About Buy packwoods purple punch online
Get packwoods Online
Effects Packwoods OG Kush RYO kit
Advantages of Packwoods OG Kush RYO kit
Effects of Packwoods Purple Punch RYO Kit online
Buy RYO Kit Online
Advantages Buy Packwoods Purple Punch RYO Kit online
About sugar mint RYO kit
Effects sugar mint RYOkit
Why Buy packwoods purple punch online
Buy Packwoods Rose OG Online
ReplyDeleteBUY PACKWOODS ROSE OG ONLINE
Packwoods Price
ABOUT ROSE OG
Packwoods
Buy Rose OG canada
buy Rose OG uk
packwoods official
Buy Packwoods RYO Kit Online
Buy RYO Kit Online
How to get packwoods RYO Kit
About OG Kush RYO Kit
Buy packwoods RYO kit online
About Buy packwoods purple punch online
Get packwoods Online
Effects Packwoods OG Kush RYO kit
Advantages of Packwoods OG Kush RYO kit
Effects of Packwoods Purple Punch RYO Kit online
Buy RYO Kit Online
Advantages Buy Packwoods Purple Punch RYO Kit online
About sugar mint RYO kit
Effects sugar mint RYOkit
Why Buy packwoods purple punch online
Buy Packwoods Strawnana Online
ReplyDeleteBUY PACKWOODS STRAWNANA ONLINE
packwoods
Buy Packwoods Strawnana Online Packwoods la
Buy Packwoods Strawnana Online
Packwoods for sale
Packwoods Sydney
packwoods Melbourne
Packwoods for sale
packwoods usa
Real vs Fake packwoods
-packwoods
packwoods for sale canada
– packwoods review
Buy Packwoods x Big Al’s Exotics online
Buy Packwoods x Big Al’s Exotics
packwoods
Packwoods la
Where to buy packwoods
buy big als exotics online packwoods blunt
About packwoods x big Al’s Exotics blunt
Effects of packwoods x big Al’s Exotics
Packwoods canada
packwood.la official site
Buy high thc pre-rolls online
Where to buy Packwoods x big al’s exotics
characteristic of Buy Packwoods x Big Al’s Exotics online
packwoods review
Buy Packwoods Strawnana Online
ReplyDeleteBUY PACKWOODS STRAWNANA ONLINE
packwoods
Buy Packwoods Strawnana Online Packwoods la
Buy Packwoods Strawnana Online
Packwoods for sale
Packwoods Sydney
packwoods Melbourne
Packwoods for sale
packwoods usa
Real vs Fake packwoods
-packwoods
packwoods for sale canada
– packwoods review
Buy Packwoods x Big Al’s Exotics online
Buy Packwoods x Big Al’s Exotics
packwoods
Packwoods la
Where to buy packwoods
buy big als exotics online packwoods blunt
About packwoods x big Al’s Exotics blunt
Effects of packwoods x big Al’s Exotics
Packwoods canada
packwood.la official site
Buy high thc pre-rolls online
Where to buy Packwoods x big al’s exotics
characteristic of Buy Packwoods x Big Al’s Exotics online
packwoods review
ReplyDeleteBuy packwoods x cookies cereal milk blunt online
Buy packwoods blunt
Buy packwoods x cookies cereal milk blunt online
Buy Packwoods Online
Packwoods for sale
Packwoods la
Characteristic packwoods x cookies
Buy packwoods x cookies cereal milk blunt online
Packwoods flavors
Original Packwoods
How much is packwoods x cookies
Buy packwoods x white runtz(hybrid) blunt Online
Buy Packwoods X White runtz
Buy Packwoods online uk
buy packwoods canada
Packwoods for sale
Effects of Buy Packwoods x white runtz
real vs fake packwoods
where can I find packwoods
packwoods review
Buy Packwoods online ireland
Buy packwoods online cheap
where can I find packwoods
Buy Backwoods online
Buy Packwoods online ireland
ReplyDeleteBuy packwoods x cookies cereal milk blunt online
Buy packwoods blunt
Buy packwoods x cookies cereal milk blunt online
Buy Packwoods Online
Packwoods for sale
Packwoods la
Characteristic packwoods x cookies
Buy packwoods x cookies cereal milk blunt online
Packwoods flavors
Original Packwoods
How much is packwoods x cookies
Buy packwoods x white runtz(hybrid) blunt Online
Buy Packwoods X White runtz
Buy Packwoods online uk
buy packwoods canada
Packwoods for sale
Effects of Buy Packwoods x white runtz
real vs fake packwoods
where can I find packwoods
packwoods review
Buy Packwoods online ireland
Buy packwoods online cheap
where can I find packwoods
Buy Backwoods online
Buy Packwoods online ireland
blueberry-strain
ReplyDeletegrape-ape-strain
critical-kush-strain
vanilla-kush-strain
chronic-thunder-strain
jack-herer-strain
incredible-hulk-strain
green-crack-strain
durban-poison-strain
harlequin-strain