Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Week 34 Update


34 weeks has come around frighteningly quickly, I’m now only three weeks away from full term! Eeek!

The nerves and the discomfort have both started to kick in this week, and suddenly it all feels very imminent.

At the moment I’m just in an almost constant state of physical discomfort. Sitting down for too long hurts. Standing up for too long hurts. Lying down for too long hurts – you literally can’t win!

Its making sleeping very difficult indeed. Not only is it near impossible to get off to sleep in a comfortable position at night with melon sized bump attached to your front, but staying asleep is also impossible as everything becomes uncomfortable very quickly.

I’m now waking up every half an hour at night needing to shift position, which is drastically affecting my energy levels during the day.

I do have a maternity pillow, which you put between your knees and under bump to support it, but I find it suffocating and usually end up pushing it out of the bed anyway.

Work is getting very tough as well, not helped by the fact that we are full tilt, manically busy. I think I mentioned I had been planning to use my annual leave to reduce my hours in the office in the run up to my due date, but they asked me to cancel most of it as we’re ‘too busy’. This means I’m back to full weeks and long hours and its getting so physically tough.

Way back at the beginning of all this, when I was planning when to start my maternity leave, my rationale was that I’d rather have more of it after the birth to spend with the baby rather than sitting around at home worrying and waiting, but I’m beginning to see why most women leave a month before (unlike a week before, like I’m doing).

If I’m going to make it there, I’m going to have to find a way to get strict about leaving on time and getting a proper lunch break. But because I deal with the media a lot and everything is last minute with them, its actually really hard. If an interview request or something lands on my desk I have to sort it out then and there, never mind if I had other plans. But I’m really going to need to prioritise or I’ll never make it to a week before the baby’s due.

However, with carrying over all that additional time, it does mean I’ll have 51 days holiday to use next year when I come back - that’s insane.

I’m about to give up the gym as well as its all becoming a little too much – I’ve had to stop with the stationary bike because the cycling position seems to make the baby uncomfortable, so I think this week might be my last week at the gym. At least it will stop all the worried looks from people who think I’m about to give birth on the treadmill!

I’ll still be doing lots of walking though, and am trying to keep active. I haven’t suffered from puffy ankles or a bad back at all throughout this pregnancy and I think that’s because I kept very active.

At last the nerves have hit home too. Funny as it sounds, all through the pregnancy I haven’t really thought or much or worried about the giving birth part. It just felt inevitable and not worth stressing about. But all of a sudden I’ve begun to get quite nervous about it.

I’m very cowardly when it comes to physical pain and I hate hospital, so I’m beginning to get a little freaked out. I’m not planning to do anything naturally, I want all the pain relief on offer! The midwife has been really supportive though.

The baby is really active this week and kicking about loads, which is getting harder as he’s bigger and there’s less space. So between that, the discomfort, the lack of sleep and THE FEAR, its all become very real this week.

The nursery still needs a couple of finishing touches, but is pretty much there. Bar a trip to Ikea this weekend to pick up a chest of drawers and some storage baskets we’re pretty much there. I’ll post a nursery tour when its finished.

I’m down to about five outfits that actually fit me now. As I’m refusing to buy more now we’re into such short timescales, that means I’m getting quite fed up of repeating the same stuff. In fact last week, we didn’t have much in the washing pile so we decided to skip a week’s laundry and just do a double load the next week- until I realised that left me with literally nothing to wear! I’m so tired of black stretchy dresses and leggings.

Speaking of what to wear, I still have the sister in law wedding dilemma (its four days after my due date).

I had bought a gorgeous navy blue chiffon maxi to as my ‘pregnant wedding guest outfit’ but it actually doesn’t fit anymore! I think I’m going to have to leave it right until the last minute, then make an overnight order from Asos Maternity if it looks like I’ll be going while I’m overdue.

I have a nice (but loose fitting) dress that I want to wear if I’ve already had the baby, assuming I can fit into that – it’s just impossible to know what size I’ll be, I feel like Alice in Wonderland.

Actually finding it quite stressful. I may not be physically able to go, but if I can, I have to.

The thought of going in an overdue and extremely uncomfortable state is horrid, but so is going literally right after giving birth. The timing could not be worse! I feel like I’m going to be letting people down or suffering myself, and its really hard. None of the answers seem to work. And everyone’s well-meaning jokes about it being a wedding and christening combined are just pissing me off.

I wish there was a better solution, but the only one seems to be if he arrives a bit early, which doesn’t seem likely.

I’m still wanting to go ahead with getting my hair cut shorter before the baby, but I’m also ordering new extensions at the same time.

I know that sounds utterly bizarre, trust me, but its about flexibility really. Plus my hair is bugging me because it feels so dried out and lank. I like the idea of having a more structured style with the option to get long locks again for a night out or special occasion if I really want them! Pregnancy logic?

Seb is continuing to be an absolute star, really looking after me, trying to make sure I’m eating and sleeping. He even carries my handbag to work in the mornings for me! And at the weekend he made me a gorgeous roast beef dinner with homemade Yorkshire puddings, Port gravy and everything – he’s amazing. I certainly hope our little boy learns his chivalrous nature! We’re still laughing a lot and just really enjoying each other’s company.

At the weekend, we were out in the garden, feeding the ducks and swans on the canal with our cat and hens around our feet and I just felt so purely happy. Trying to hold on to that feeling as I know happiness can be fleeting and we’re not usually consciously aware of it.

Til next time.
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